Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Neighborhood Guard

This one has taken it upon herself to be the guard of our neighborhood. She has learned who the good neighbors are and only barks at the strangers - or the ones we haven't met. 

Every day and sometimes multiple times a day she jumps up on the couch and stations herself at the window. 

I feel safer knowing she is keeping an eye on everything!

Thursday, July 25, 2013

This Summer

Things that are irritating about this summer:
1. Having Maggie now makes my lunch break tanning time non existent. 
2. Sunshine all week and rainy weekends make weekend tanning impossible. 
3. All of my sisters are darker than me. Even the white one. 

Basically, I want a tan. 

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Lately

This year has been quite unsteady for us, through loss, terror, career frustrations and more... but I continue to seek peace through the example of my live-in-the-moment puppy girl, and my faith. 

"We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you." - 2 Chronicles 20:12

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Floppy

A friend recently observed that I don't seem to be worried about much - ha, she must not know me very well, right?

She asked me what my secret is.

Well, the truth is, I've been working on it.

It started in winter when Mister's driving made me a tad nervous, and one night ice almost led to an accident. "If we were in an accident, you would shatter into a million pieces because you tense up so much," Mister told me. "You should be more floppy like Maggie."

So there you go. That's my secret. That's why I don't seem to be worried about much. I'm trying to be floppy.

It's true though - if we were in an accident she would flop around and be fine. She lives in the moment, enjoying the present, content with today.

I learn from her.






Tuesday, April 2, 2013

A First World Problem

Did I have my husband superglue my finger nail to make my spa manicure last longer than 24 hours?

Yes, yes I did.

This is why I can't have nice things.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

On Grief

It comes so late at night, the grieving.

I try to exhaust myself, make my eyes so tired by reading, surfing the web, playing games... But it still comes.

I shut my eyes and it is all I see. I hear voices loudly in the night's stillness and I can't relax.

I keep going back in my memories. I keep them on repeat. I hope when I wake up it is different. Everyone is here. No one is gone.

It doesn't change though. Time passes, whether I am an active participant or not.

When there is light out, I find myself in conversations with people I care about, people I enjoy. But I'm not listening. I can't focus on what they are saying. I don't know why this is difficult.

I keep saying the wrong word. Sounds like... But isn't.

I find myself driving and missing my turn. On routes I drive all the time.

My face makes expressions that I don't know about. "What's that face for?" I keep hearing that. I don't think I mean whatever my face is saying. But I can't get it in line.

It is a strange thing. It's a lot of strange things.

It certainly isn't comfortable to be this transparent. I guess my hope is that by acknowledging grief I can someday heal.

I'll think of you everyday, Grandpa. I just can't do otherwise, no matter how I try.

Monday, March 11, 2013

New

Things are starting to pop up a little in our gardens. I am slightly nervous because we did have snow last week, but the 60 degree weekend has made me a little less nervous. I don't want my flowers to freeze over. I like to enjoy them for a while.

One thing that I am excited about are the new bulbs I planted last fall. So far all I see are crocuses, but I know the tulips are in there somewhere.



Thursday, February 28, 2013

February

This has been a tough month.

Each day at work I looked at my verse for the month and knew it was not a coincidence. I needed to see these words often.

My favorite line in it: "And God is faithful."

He is faithful in all circumstances. Even the circumstances of this past month.

Monday, February 25, 2013

Lessons Learned

We had plans to go to a party at our neighbor's house for the Super Bowl. It was going to be quite the party - tons of food catered by a nearby Italian restaurant and many interesting people to meet. I was hesitant, wishing instead for a comfortable night in but trying to get excited about it because the Mister had been in a football kind of mood recently.

I was stalling, trying to finish the ironing. I hate the ironing. Such a random chore to be suddenly obsessed with.

And then the call.

It's amazing how fast everything changes.

And just like we had only seven years before, we gathered. In the hospital. In the funeral home. In the church. In the cold and snow covered cemetery. We stared at each other in shock. Just like we had before. Are we really here?

My grandfather.

"Suddenly." said the newspaper.

So "suddenly" that no one had a chance to say goodbye. And so, our last interaction was Christmas day. I was rushing out the door, too many family celebrations to be at and couldn't stay long at any one place. "That's a really well behaved dog," he said.

That was the last thing he said to me.

And now I'm kicking myself, filled with anguish and regret. My dad always always always said to spend time with grandparents, you never know how long you have with them. And when my mom's father had a stroke last summer I rushed. I was there. Night after night after work in the hospital room, holding his hand, promising to take care of mama, praying for him, telling him I loved him. I was there. Praise God, he is still here.

I thought it would always be that way. With an illness or just a bit of time to get there, a moment to say goodbye.

"Suddenly."

Suddenly, I have learned a heartbreaking lesson: that the world as I know it can be altered in an instant.

Suddenly, I am left with nothing but my memories. A few photos. The sound of his voice in the back of my head saying the things he always said.

Suddenly, I am aware of how precious time is, and all I want to do is be with my family, tell them I love them, again and again.

And so I grieve, I cling to my faith, I stare blankly at people as they carry on normally.

You NEVER know how long you have to know and love someone.

Choose love.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Goodbye January

I thought I might make it a goal to memorize the verses on my calendar each month.

January has ended, and I haven't memorized this yet. To be fair, it's tricky to memorize at work when it is sooo busy.

I am taking this home to work on.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Miss a Day, Miss a Lot

Ohio is a nice place to live because it truly teaches you to live in the moment.

For example.

We knew with colder temperatures last week that there was potential for our pond to freeze over. When my sister texted to ask about weekend visiting and also inquired about ice status, Mister needed no other prompt.

He shoveled. It snowed. He shoveled. It snowed. He shoveled. And for two days we (and 23 other friends and family plus two dogs) enjoyed ice skating right outside my front door.

Two beautiful afternoons.

And while I had ideas about shopping and crafting this weekend, I kind of had a feeling that this may be the last time I could skate for a while. (The last time we were able to skate on the pond was two years ago)

I think Maggie could sense this too. We had one other weekend this winter where we could skate but neither she nor I was very interested. But this time, she conquered her fears all by herself and was soon running (and sliding) circles around everyone. Smart puppy girl.

So. We enjoyed those moments. And good thing we did. It rained all day and everything melted. What a difference a day makes!

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Notes Found

And one more - this note found on my refrigerator. I love my sisters. And I can't wait for them to get married someday. As my daddy always says, "payback is a ________ "
:)

Notes Found

A note found on my iPhone after a visit with my sisters (posted a month after, but it still makes me laugh):

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

New Camera

I received a lot of nice things for Christmas - but perhaps my favorite was a new camera.

And it was my favorite because now I can take pictures of Maggie like this one:



Doesn't she look sweet? I get her to pose like this by promising her a treat. Sometimes I actually have one. Sometimes I don't.

Keeps her guessing.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Life lately

Where have I been?

Working.

Shoot. That's about it. Aside from some random outings with friends and family, that's all I have to share regarding my 2013 thus far.

Oh yeah, and I made these treats for Miss Maggie. Luckiest dog ever or luckiest dog ever? Thank you Pinterest, for making me the coolest dog mom on the block!